To Cheat or not to Cheat...

First, I'll start by saying I'd love to never hear this phrase again. Cheat days. Cheat meals. Just who are you cheating on? As an adult, you're allowed to make your own choices about what you eat and drink. So, this holiday season, let's have a new perspective.

Know your body. Know the effects of what this food or that food does to your body. Weigh the mental and physical pros and cons and decide what you, as a grown human, will consume. That's it. After you've consumed it, whether it was good for you or not so good, move on with your life. If it caused you inflammation or joint pain or bloating or a headache, well, you made that choice and now you can choose how you'll continue on from here. I hope it's not with a lot of guilt or shame or regrets. If you've lived with food reactions for as long as I have, you know what to do, so do that without all the negative feelings.

Personally, I don't "cheat", EVER. For others, they indulge regularly in all kinds of things they know will either keep them on a toilet, in a bed unable to move, in a grouchy mood, or just overall feeling terrible for hours or weeks. It really depends on the person. I know exactly what I can eat, how badly I feel if I eat certain things, and I don't stray because the trade-off isn't worth it for me. If it's worth it for you at this time of year, then move forward as an adult allowed to decide for yourself with a smile on your face and joy in your heart, and the next day, deal with your choice.

Here is how I enjoy my time with family and friends at restaurants and gatherings while sticking to what I know is best for me.

1. Eat a little bit before you go. This has made me especially successful at gatherings where I know they probably won't have food that I can eat. I used to just wait through the hours watching everyone else eat and find myself starving. You can also truthfully tell others that you'd already ate, avoiding awkwardness that most of us have dealt with from time to time. There is a time to be bold and clear about what you want or need, but a holiday gathering might not be optimal. This increases your temptation to eat something you know will have ill effects. If there is a happy surprise and you actually can eat what's available, you aren't too full to enjoy it.

2. Offer to bring a dish you enjoy. Every time there's a family gathering, I think about what will most likely be available and what I could contribute that would round out my meal. Can I eat the protein served and a couple of side dishes? Then I might bring a dessert that fits my gluten-free needs but that others would like (and I do mean that they would truly enjoy it, not feel like they're eating hay!). The options are wide open with side dishes, as many veggies people enjoy can be tailored to dietary needs. Talk to the host of the event. Often they are very open to making sure all guests have food to eat or including your favorite dish if you're willing to bring it.

3. Plan ahead. Most restaurants have menus and nutrition/allergen information online now. You can get a good idea of what can be ordered by spending a few minutes being a detective. Often, you can pull up an allergen menu on an app and have it ready to help the waitstaff know exactly what you'd like to order. Asking politely if certain ingredients can be excluded goes a long way, and also having a second choice ready to order if your request can't be fulfilled helps ordering go smoothly.

4. Call ahead. I find that in the last decade managers at restaurants are more than willing to take a phone call at non-peak hours to help a customer who wants to spend money in their establishment. They are often very helpful, suggesting what modifications can be made in their kitchen or bar, what might not be listed on the menu that they can make, describing their kitchen's preparation methods and limitations, and knowing what specific menu items contain that are in line with my needs. Having your order planned ahead of time and being able to say you've spoken with the manager, instead of asking a waiter a million questions while everyone's staring at you makes dining out a lot more enjoyable.

The holiday season doesn't have to be stressful, frustrating, and overwhelming just because you have multiple dietary challenges. There will always be those around you who don't (or won't) understand, but you don't have to let them ruin your gatherings. There are ways you can set yourself up for success, as I've outlined above. Another way to succeed is to determine right now that whether you choose the route I do and never deviate from foods and drinks that are optimal for you, you make the informed decision to eat whatever crosses your path, or you land somewhere in between that works for you, it is YOUR choice and you will OWN IT! Approach this holiday season in a new way and you'll find that you truly enjoy it in a way you may not have in the past.